Dating tips for the woman with vitiligo

Dating, a word that makes you feel happy, excited, nervous and all sorts of mixed emotions. It is an experience that should be a part of everyone’s life. But as fun, as it can be, it can sometimes make you truly anxious. As a woman with Vitiligo, you have finally decided to go on a dating journey. But you are worried about the do’s and don’ts of dating. Don’t worry, because we got you covered!

Below are some tips from our side that can help you make your dating experience even more memorable:

THE DO’S

1. Dress to express not hide

Dating should be a fairytale experience in your life, hence you shouldn’t compromise on any aspect of it. The same goes for the what-to-wear arena. It might sound tough at first, and you may want to hide behind your clothes, but to make this experience completely awesome, wear what your heart desires. Insecurities are a part of us, but they shouldn’t stop us from being who we are. Hence, if you want to wear a dress, you wear a dress. Dress for yourself, not your date. Be comfortable with who you are, and stop worrying about Vitiligo becoming the centre of attention. Don’t let your skin become the deciding factor, instead wear whatever you feel good in. And if your date doesn’t like you as you are, they weren’t the one, to begin with.

2. You come first

Taking care of yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. Before you start looking for someone, start with yourself first. Vitiligo does not define you, and you as a person have a lot more to offer. Thus, the best place you can start is by polishing yourself. Loving yourself should be your priority. Self-love will not only give you more confidence, but it will also make you more desirable.

Having a visible skin condition might feel like a disadvantage at first but you need to understand that as a person you are so much more than your skin. Rather than letting your skin become a drawback or the centre of attention, you may try to focus more on the good qualities you possess. Like your amazing personality or a good sense of humour.

3. Own your skin

Be honest and open about your skin, wear it with pride. If your date asks you questions about it, don’t shy away, tell them about it in detail so that they can understand that it is an “innocent” skin condition and have a better understanding of your point of view. But it doesn’t always mean that you should reveal it on your first date. Talk about it whenever you are comfortable. If you aren’t sure about when to bring it up, don’t worry too much and let it come up in a conversation naturally. Your date will ask you gradually whenever they are curious, and if they don’t then it’s understandable that they don’t see this as something that needs to be discussed. The primary need is for you to be confident in your skin and be comfortable about it. If you will be embarrassed about it or try to hide, it might come off as an insecurity. Rather be confident about it and it will come off as not a big deal, and all of your other good features will shine through.

The Don’ts

1. Stress causes mess

Don’t spend your time worrying about what your date might think. Stressing over a date might act as a trigger to your Vitiligo, which is honestly the last thing you want. When you can’t predict what the other person might think it’s best to just go with the flow. Any visible physical insecurity might cause people to worry more before a date, but how your date would react solely depends on them. If they make you feel uncomfortable, or insecure, then that is your cue to dash because you don’t need people who will drag you down. You just need to be yourself and let your date see how amazing you are. If your date is a right fit for you, everything will feel correct and comfortable.

2. Don’t rush

If your date seems like someone who will be a good match for you, don’t try to rush things. The last thing you want is to look aggressive or desperate. It will take some time for your relationship to build up and your comfort level to grow, so be patient. Rushing into things might increase the chances of miscommunication which might hurt you, so if your date wants to take things slow, it’s best to follow that pace. Try to get to know the person better, if they are a good fit for you, if they understand you and if they are comfortable with you. Don’t just try to get into a relationship for the sake of a social tag. Be with someone who values you and your ideals. After all, we all deserve someone who truly loves and respects us for who we are.

3. Don’t lose your worth

The most important factor in the dating journey is doing what makes YOU happy. You need to love yourself, for who you are, build up your confidence, be comfortable in your skin and all in all, feel amazing. You need to shine through those insecurities, don’t let them control your life. Despite how your skin looks, some dates are going to be good and some disastrous. Life has its own share of both sunny and rainy days, so don’t let a mere rejection dictate your self-worth. You are much more than that, Vitiligo is just a part of you and not your entire personality, so let yourself sparkle. Don’t compromise and accept someone who doesn’t know your worth. Your perfect partner who will love and cherish you is out there somewhere. You will find them, so don’t worry, just be yourself and enjoy this Journey called Dating. Remember: Self-love is the best love.